Fart

Yusuf Achmad

Chaos in the prayer hall, a loud fart echoed,
Worshippers looked at each other, chasing the sound of the fart,
Suspicious, glancing around, but the fart disappeared,
Only its smell floated calmly in the air during prayers.

Oh the fart appeared, and started telling its tale:
If my sound is du-dut-dut, stuttering, it means I’m not healthy,
If my sound is long, it means my heart is spacious,
Then one worshipper asked, “What if it doesn’t make a sound?”
It means my love is rejected, I am not happy.

If my smell is like jengkol, my heart is annoyed,
The smell of salted fish, unclear, means I’m stubborn,
Opposing you who pray lazily.
When you smell a carcass, it means a warning against quarrels.

Then another worshipper said, “My fart smells long and unpleasant,
What does it mean?” he asked,
“It means you need to repent immediately.”
“Why?”
“If you continue to pray, your prayers won’t be accepted.”
Everyone laughed heartily, like a released fart.

Suddenly, a worshipper with red cheeks
said, “My fart has many colors and flavors, what does it mean?”
“Ah, it means you are full of variety,
but you need to be checked, maybe you lack nutrition!”

Another one mumbled, “It smells like a goat,
but I’m a vegetarian, how can it be?”
“It’s nature’s secret, a fart doesn’t discriminate,
It can smell like a goat, a cow, or even a funny leader!”
“Why funny?”
“Because their work is like a fart, there’s sound but no form.”

Finally, everyone laughed,
stomachs hurting from constant laughter.
In the serene prayer hall, the fart became a story,
Another worshipper, who was silent at first, joined the laughter,
Followed by the sound of a fart erupting.

Surabaya, 16-2025