Doubting to Love You

Yusuf Achmad

I am a shy man, my mouth stiff to say love.
Yet, I can write letters with feelings hidden in the corners of my heart.
I hesitate to express my feelings to you.
My love is buried and frozen, yet my heart always beats.

For a moment I am silent, transfixed, floating in dreamy longing.
I dive into serene contemplation, wandering through the maze of questions.
Unexpectedly, vibrations chase.
Those letters sing innocently, just one initial stored in the corner of my heart.

Though not beautiful sentences, sweet expressions, or impassioned words.
The implied meaning is myriad in a melancholy heart and soul.
Groans echo rumbling, wails overflow in my body.
Hopes lifted in prayer and action, affection expressed in tunes and songs.

I must overcome obstacles and barriers, piercing shadows and emptiness.
Obstacles in life and living, shadows in dreams and fantasies.
I must reach for ambition and love.
A love that I guard, memories that are dim or beautiful.

Ambition in love, memories in the dim, I embrace tenderly.
Keep pursuing ambition and love.
Because in every doubt, there is fervent courage to reach a love unblemished.

Surabaya, 6-11-2023